


It's An Anxiety Thing

by ZombieMermaid



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bunnies, Fluff, Gen, Harmful Coping Mechanisms, PTSD, Questionable Coping Mechanisms, Social Anxiety, it's platonic but i guess you can interpret it as shippy if you wanna, oh yeah mild backstory spoilers, with major spoilers in the end notes whoops sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 17:16:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17390432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieMermaid/pseuds/ZombieMermaid
Summary: Xander learns why Laslow flirts with every woman on the planet.Laslow learns why Xander is not okay with that.





	It's An Anxiety Thing

**Author's Note:**

> i'm honestly amazed i've never seen this brought up as a reason xander disapproves of laslow's flirting in the games themselves. oh well, good thing fanfiction exists.
> 
> i think i got all the mistakes but if there are any left i'll probably fix them later. golly gosh i sure love being my own beta.

"I'm sure you understand why I brought you here, Laslow. Again."

"Um..."

Laslow knows exactly why he is here, in Prince Xander's private quarters. Again. Alas, he can't seem to find a decent response to the question.

"What have I told you, _countless times_ , about philandering with every woman who passes your line of sight?!"

"I..." Laslow averts his eyes and clears his throat. "With all due respect, milord, I have tried to stop myself..."

Xander frowns, etched with doubt.

"I'm serious! I really am! It's just I've been doing it so long, it's, ah, hard to stop, heh..."

"Don't 'heh' me, Laslow. This is a very serious matter; I wish you would treat it as such."

"Bu-" _But I do_ , he thinks, but there's no way he can make it sound convincing. "Yes, milord."

Xander sighs. "Do you have any idea the consequences such behavior could have? How those women must feel? Honestly, how did you even start doing this?"

"My..." _Should I tell him? I suppose it couldn't hurt._ "...my mother taught me."

Xander stops, and simply stares in silence. In any other situation with Laslow, he would have written it off as the worst excuse he'd ever heard - but... _He only ever makes that face in dead sincerity. And it's rare he brings up details of his past..._ "Your mother, you say?"

"Yes, sir. You see, I'm actually rather shy around strangers. She was the same, but she still managed to socialize well enough, and she never seemed to suffer stage fright."

"Stage fright? Was she a performer? A dancer perhaps?" _That certainly would explain why I see him dancing when he thinks no one's looking._

"Indeed, sir. To this day perhaps the most beautiful dancer I've ever known. Not to say I haven't met any close seconds, of course," he says, winking. Xander clears his throat, his eyes narrowing. "Er, yes, anyway! One day I'd asked her how she could talk to people despite her nerves, and she taught me a trick a friend had taught her: flirt with the opposite sex as much as you can! Ask them out! Give yourself the obligation to see them again!"

Xander raises an eyebrow. "Is that so? I would imagine that'd flare up your nerves even more."

"Exactly the point, milord! If you can flirt successfully, without giving in to fear of interaction, you can talk to anyone! Of course, to be convincing, you must be genuine. Hence, I look for something about each woman to compliment! I must say, I've developed quite an appreciation for ladies of all types over the years, heheh." Laslow grins, clearly proud of himself.

"Hmm. So when you flirt, it's a knee-jerk reaction to social anxiety? And this has been going on for years?"

"Pretty much!"

"Then, from where I see it, it doesn't seem to be working."

The aforementioned grin falls. "M-milord?"

"You still let your fear control your actions for you. Only now, instead of going silent or running away, you find the nearest woman and bombard her with flattery. Am I wrong?"

"I-...I suppose I can't deny that." As much as Laslow hates to admit it, he feels his liege does have a point.

"What's more, some of the women you flirt with may have social anxieties of their own, worsened by your actions."

 _Oh._ "...I never considered that." That's a good point too.

"One more thing. Please understand I am only asking this to be certain: how often had you actually seen your mother follow her friend's advice?"

Laslow goes dead silent. _How often have I...?_

Realization hits like a rolling boulder - he couldn't remember ever seeing her flirt with anyone, except his father. The closest he'd seen was the occasional wink, paired with seductive grin, as part of a performance. Nothing in a casual social situation.

"I'm sure she meant well" - Xander looks straight into Laslow's eyes - "but have you ever considered your mother had given you bad advice?"

Laslow can't answer. He knows he should answer, he knows that...that his master is right. _How did I never notice...?_ The words won't come out; they aren't anywhere near his voice. _How...?_

Xander softens, his retainer's silence communicating all he needs to know. "You clearly need time alone to process this. You still need to be punished, so you are under house arrest. I'll leave a servant to look after you."

Xander steps out and shuts the door, leaving Laslow alone to his thoughts.

 

===================================================

 

Hours later, Xander returns to his quarters. He makes a mental note to find and reprimand the servant who seems to have wandered off somewhere - though, as he is pleased to see, Laslow stayed put as ordered. Not that he didn't still take advantage of the servant's absence, apparently.

"Dancing again, Laslow?"

"-Agh! Oh, m-milord! You startl- wait, _again_? You've...you've seen me...before...?"

"I suppose I may as well inform you - yes, I have. Many times."

Laslow's cheeks redden vividly. "Y-you never said anything...?"

"And disturb a fine performance? You're quite talented."

"Well, th-thank you. I mean, not to doubt my liege's sincerity, but...this isn't...revenge, or something, is it?"

"Revenge?" It takes a few moments for Xander to realize what Laslow means. "Oh. No, Laslow, I am not flattering you to make you feel awkward. I truly meant what I said."

Laslow lets out a breath, smiling, the scarlet only mostly fading from his face. "Well, that's a relief, I admit. Not that I wouldn't deserve it."

 _Hm? I don't think I've ever heard him speak that way before._ "Have you been able to sort out your thoughts?"

"I...think so." He takes a moment. "You were right, I never did see my mother...you know. Except with my father of course, heh." His eyes wander someplace unseen. "She was my role model. I looked up to her, as a dancer, a confidant...and yet, I'd never noticed something so simple and obvious, until you pointed it out. Nor did I ever stop to consider that, perhaps, she may have...blundered...in bringing me up." Though his mouth is smiling, his eyes don't quite follow it.

 _Classic Laslow,_ Xander thinks, _trying to smile even if it's fake._ "To be fair, I may have been hasty in asking that. It's possible she did flirt with many men, long before meeting your father and having you."

"That is certainly possible. But in that case, she must have been able to stop herself. She must have meant it as a temporary guide for me, as it was for her; instead, it's become a long-time crutch. Perhaps it- no, it _was_ flawed, as you said - but I can't help feeling I'm the only one to blame for taking it so far."

"It may be worth it to look into alternative means." Xander considers for a moment. _I should tell him. If I'm going to help him, he needs to know I understand._ "In truth, I too suffer from fear of interpersonal interaction."

Laslow's eyes widen. "You do?" He had suspected it, but had never brought it up in fear of disrespecting his liege should it have not been the case, or embarrassing him should it have. "If I may ask, milord, how do you handle it?"

 _Of course he asks. I led us to this, so I can't deny him._ "Try not to laugh, okay Laslow?"

"Milord, I would never!"

Xander smiles softly, then steels himself for his confession. "I imagine them as bunnies. Humans can be terrifying, especially when you must keep the strict image of a high prince at all times, but bunnies don't mind. Bunnies are simple and pure, only judging how you treat them, not how you appear to- you're trying not to laugh right now, aren't you?"

True enough. "No! Well, alright, yes. But not at you. It's just...I just didn't expect it. You always seem so serious, I never would have guessed you were thinking about baby rabbits all along."

Xander sighs. "It's not very becoming of a prince, is it?"

"On the contrary! It's actually quite nice to know my lord has quirks of his own. It proves you're human, just like your subjects - the people need a king like that, who understands them." He panics. "N-not that I think you inhuman, milor-"

Xander holds up his hand, hushing the flustered man. "At ease, Laslow. I understand what you meant. It's a good way to look at it. But don't tell anyone, alright? Many of the nobles still expect a perfect prince. I'm not worried about myself, but they are not so honorable as to target _only_ me."

 _He must be referring to the other royals, and perhaps me and Peri?_ "Your secret is safe with me, milord."

"Thank you." He ponders a moment, face darkening ever so slightly. "There is another thing. I've been turning over in my head whether to bring this up in light of our earlier discussion, and I've decided it may be best for you to know."

"Yes, sir?" Laslow focuses every bit of attention he can. _This is serious, even for Lord Xander._

"I admit, I had one other, very personal, reason for my anger. Do you know the history of the Nohrian court? Namely, how each of my siblings came to be?"

"I've heard rumors." Many of them; it doesn't take long for Laslow to remember the major ones. "I've heard Lord Leo and Ladies Camilla and Elise had...different mothers from you. Many royal families have such accusations lobbed at them for any number of reasons, so I wasn't certain..."

"Yes, I suppose they do," he admits. "In our case, however, it's true. Queen Katerina, my mother, loved us all, but I am the only one she'd borne herself."

"Oh." He blinks. "So...King Garon...?"

"Yes. You might not believe it, seeing him now, but he used to be quite the ladies' man. Any time he fell for a woman - and he'd done so many, many times - he'd take her in as a concubine. Though he loved them all, and all of his resulting children, the same could not be said for the women. Some only wanted him for his wealth and position, while others did love him - rather, they were...obsessed. Unhinged. They would all attempt to groom their children accordingly. And most of them hated each other."

"I see." A small pit forms in his stomach. He hasn't met these concubines himself, and he knows Xander would never lie about this sort of thing for any reason. _Which means..._ Laslow steels himself for what he suspects - knows - comes next.

"Things remained civil enough while my mother was alive - despite everything, she was well-liked. But then she fell ill and..." Xander hesitates, caught momentarily by the painful memory, but forces himself to continue. "And she died. Not long after, Father took in a second wife, a woman none of us had ever seen before, carrying a small child."

"Queen Arete and Lady Azura..."

"Yes. He'd only recently met Arete, unlike the concubines who'd been pining to be beside him as wife for years. Years of greed and jealousy, of barely-restrained wrath, just one snap away. You can imagine the result."

Laslow gulps.

"Not even the children were spared." Xander looks away, slightly inclining his head. "In the end, I, Camilla, Leo, and Elise were the only ones left. Azura survived as well, but..."

Laslow nods. He'd heard about the kidnapping.

"Father was never the same after that." He turns to Laslow. "You understand now, I hope."

"I...well, yes." _Great job, Laslow, nice and pathetic_ , he thinks. But if there is a better response, he can't find it.

"It isn't merely a matter of disrespect. Seeing you pursue women left and right, with no regard for your safety...it terrifies me. I never want to see that happen again. Certainly not to someone I care about."

"So that's why..." _And I've been so..._ His gaze drops to the floor, voice to a whisper. "I'm so sorry."

For a few eternal minutes there is only silence, a miasma thick enough to choke the air.

"..."

"..."

Finally, Laslow speaks. "It...won't be easy. Something so ingrained into myself for so long...I may slip up. In fact, I probably will."

Xander says nothing.

Laslow raises his head, eyes now facing his master. "But I am willing to try. I must! If it means I can build confidence without harming those around me, then it must be worth it. It...wouldn't be too much to ask for your help in this, would it?"

Xander smiles. "Not at all. I'd be happy to assist."

"Thank you, Lord Xander. You truly are a gracious master."

"Flattering me, are we?"

Laslow startles, face burning. "Ulp! I-what-no-???"

"Heh." He smirks. "I jest, Laslow."

"Oh." _Lord Xander? Making a joke?_ "I can't say I'm used to jests from you."

"It's been known to happen, if rarely. In all sincerity, I thank you as well, for opening up to me and for listening. And for promising to keep the bunny thing a secret."

"Any time, milord. You know, I might just use that trick. Bunnies are so cute, though, I hope I don't accidentally start baby-talking to people..."

"I've never had that issue. Though, knowing you..."

"Hey!" _Oops, that might have been rude._ "I-I'll make an effort, alright?"

"Heh. I know you will. Just remember, if you do, it didn't come from me."

"Understood, sir. Thinking about it, some of our soldiers might make for...interesting rabbits. Wait..." _Don't tell me._ "Does this mean there was a time you imagined _me_ as a bunny?"

"Hmmm. Perhaps."

 _He did. He totally did. He...could he have...?_ "Did you, perhaps...imagine me as a bunny while telling me about it just minutes ago?"

"Maybe. It wouldn't be a problem if it were true, would it?"

"No, milord, never! Just curious!"

Xander only responds with a small grin.

**Author's Note:**

> you know how various characters in fates are obviously based on characters in awakening and might be pre-incarnations of them, except for the odin/selena/laslow trio who actually ARE owain/severa/inigo?
> 
> i like to think garon is alt-world inigo. or maybe alt-world virion? that'd make more sense probably maybe yeah i'll go with that.
> 
> i also like to think garon is what would happen if you actually did have the option to marry every character at once. including the rich girl who kills for funsies, the dishonest gold digger, the mage girl who stalks you and curses everyone for funsies (and might be your kid if you married her dad), the ninja guy who stalks everyone, your insecure brother who's possessed by a rabid dragon, the fashionista who hates half of your other spouses for existing, the emotionless assassin, the monk with a sociopathic sense of humor and no social filter, your overly affectionate and violently possessive sister, the werewolf who eats people and rarely bathes, your snarky butler who's rude to everyone except you, etc., the point is everything would explode and then you'd get possessed by a rabid dragon. fun times.


End file.
